what would you eat if you knew you would die the day after tomorrow?
I was eating lunch at a restaurant today when I overheard a woman at the table next to me ask her friend, “What would you eat if you knew you would die the day after tomorrow? As in, Friday? What would you eat all day tomorrow, your last full day alive?”
I got out a pen and paper because I knew this would be good.
Him: Do I only get to eat one thing?
Her: No. You get breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks in between all meals, and desert.
Him: Ok. I would have eggs benedict and homefries for breakfast.
Her: I would have belgian waffles with icecream stuffed INSIDE the waffles. Like, somehow injected into the waffle itself. Topped with tons of whipped cream, but not the fake stuff, the REAL cream. With cold maple syrup. I don’t like my maple syrup warm. Now, what would you have for a snack?
Him: A BLT.
Her: Ok. I would have salsa, nachos, and cheese. Now what about lunch?
Him: A sandwich.
Her: But you just had a BLT for a snack. Ok. Whatever. I would go straight to McDonalds and get a bunch of chicken McNuggets. After lunch we get another snack. What would you want?
Her: I would have bruschetta and avocado. Now we get post-snack h’orderves.
Him. Ok… I would have dumplings.
Her: I would have pita, vegetables, and hummus. Now it’s dinner time. This is a big one. What would you want?
Her: Fish with what? You get two sides.
Him: I don’t know. Just fish.
Her: Whatever. I would want lobster and steak, mashed potatoes, steamed vegetables covered in melted butter, and fresh baked bread with butter. I love bread. Now what about desert?
Him: Spring rolls.
Her: That’s not a desert, but ok. I would have berry pie with delicious vanilla ice cream.